The interview
If one is an intellectual writer or someone known by many people, he is bound to be interviewed. So it can happen to me at any time. A possible question would be, “And what book is lying on your bedside table?” As an intellectual writer, I better don’t answer, “The Great Riddle Book No.12” or “A joke book with written and drawn jokes.” I could as well put on a donkey cap. If I spout “Karl May,” the interviewer might be pleased: “I’ve read all his books. Which volume are you reading, if I may ask?” And he wants to know which passage I’m on. That’s darn.
But I’m prepared: At the discount store, I picked out an intellectual book for two euros. In the title there is a difficult word and the ancient world; just the right thing for me: “Mythology of the Ancient World”. It goes on to say: “Knowledge made easy” and: “Only those who know can have their say”. Exactly! The best thing: it contains colourful pictures of gods, so that the reader does not get bored. One thing is striking: the goddesses belong to a nudist club. Diana has a cloth thrown over her shoulder, otherwise she is naked. This is how she goes hunting just as if there were no thorns. To me, her appearance would only make sense if she were chasing men. Aphrodite wears nothing at all. From a purely scientific point of view, this is interesting. The goddesses, the highest beings, don’t wear anything. Why did the queens and empresses put on so much stuff instead of standing there naked … just like the highest beings? … There is still the emperor in “The Emperor’s New Clothes”. But he didn’t want to be naked either. Besides, it’s a stupid story! Everyone should realize that this guy is completely naked! I mean, everybody can see his naked butt and a few other inappropriate things.
What confuses me: There are a lot of these highest beings; there are the gods of the ancient Greeks, the ancient Romans, the ancient Germanic tribes. Some of them created the world. Once the ancient Greeks, the ancient Romans, the ancient Germanic tribes are gone, the gods exist only in books, in pictures, or as statues. Otherwise they are gone. Instead, others appear who have created the world again. They are also gone at some point. That’s how it goes until the twilight of the gods: No more fun, everyone is gone. I have already learned the twilight of the gods; for two euros. Therefore, I’m ready for an interview.
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Interview with the intellectual writer Friedrich Hummel (Frederic Bumblebee)
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“Mr. Hummel, by now you are THE intellectual writer!”
“Hmmm.”
“So our readers are interested to know which book is lying on your night-stand.”
“A night-stand is something for women … .”
“I don’t want to start an argument about that, so I’ll ask you differently: What book are you reading at the moment? … It isn’t The Great Riddle Book No.12 by chance, or is it?”
“Nope! How dare you ask?! And I’m not reading a joke book with written and drawn jokes either, but a book about the mythology of the ancient world.”
“Extraordinary! I’m not so knowledgeable about that. I’m more of a Karl May fan. What interests you about ancient mythology?”
“The twilight of the gods. … Especially the twilight of the gods.”
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Johannes, the bookworm, wrote the interview for me to study so that I’m really prepared. I don’t recognize myself. And that’s only because of the intellectual book from the discount store.
If anyone is interested in how my articles get on the Internet: I write them, take them to a friend. He gives them to a twelve-year-old neighbour boy. He does the rest. In return, he gets a little pocket money. Once the youngster asked who reads such nonsense. I nearly cut his pocket money. An impertinence. What does he know about the adult world! But that’s not all, Johannes surprises me with a ridiculous theory:
“Maybe you’ve become an intellectual writer because you bathe a lot?”
“I can pull my own leg!”
“Listen to what’s written about Katharine Hepburn in the book Goddesses of the Century.“
“Johannes, I’m not interested in that nonsense! It has nothing to do with the ancient world.”
“Listen first!”
“What? You want me to listen to it and then decide if I want to listen to it?!”
“Here it is. Pay attention!”
” “We knew,” wrote Humphrey Bogart before he shot African Queen with her, “almost all the stories about her.” That includes that Kate hates make up, hates dresses as well, loves only baggy pants and the most worn-out sweaters possible on her, uses only strawberry jam to sweeten her tea, that she considers jewellery as superfluous as perfume or the off-duty sprinkling of charm. That she takes up to five baths a day “to think better.” “
Gee, I was beginning to think there was no end to this women’s article.
“If I took five baths a day, I couldn’t think any better. I’d turn into a fish or maybe even into a jellyfish.”
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Why doesn’t Johannes actually read adventure stories by Karl May? This author doesn’t write about nasty jam tea, but about death-defying heroes. … Great idea! Since he’s interested in goddesses, I will lend him “Mythology of the Ancient World”. First-class erudition and adventures in a nudist camp. Everything a bachelor needs.
Reading my statement about the naked emperor Johannes, the bookworm, replied: “Quite the opposite! Nearly everyone will believe it. For them the emperor is dressed beautifully!” I guess he should spend less time with the wrong kind of books. He will be pleased with the nudist-camp stories.
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https://sherlockgosig.wordpress.com
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